If you have been struggling post-Ian, you are not alone. I have heard from so many people that they feel guilty for feeling so down because they haven’t “lost as much” as other families in our community. If you are reading and have felt this way, please listen when I say, ” You have nothing to feel guilty about.” Truly.
Loss is not a comparison or competition.
Your feelings are valid and real!
Let me say that again. Your feelings are valid and real!
You lived through this event, too, AND continue to do so every day as we recover.
Seeing the destruction and debris day after day can feel as though the hurricane hasn’t ended.
Hearing stories of loss from friends, loved ones, neighbors and colleagues hasn’t ended.
Not being able to visit certain parts of our community, restaurants and businesses due to the destruction is still very real.
AND, it will be for quite a while.
These are what we call BIG T traumas. We are experiencing a large scale communal trauma which can create deep and varied feelings of grief.
It is okay for us to feel both Gratitude and Grief at the same time.
We can be “okay”, feel grateful and still grieve…
the loss of community spaces and landscapes,
the losses shared by our friends and neighbors,
the loss of businesses we loved to patronize,
the loss of personal property – large and small,
the loss of a sense of safety,
the loss of one’s school,
the loss of a sense of the ability to protect our loved ones,
the loss of income,
the loss of normalcy and routine,
… whatever the loss we are experiencing in response to this event.
As I type this Nicole is blowing into and over our state. Given the level of devastation we had with Ian, it makes sense if Nicole is activating one’s nervous system.
If you are feeling activated and overwhelmed, I encourage you to be kind and gentle with yourself. Consider carving out extra self-care time, as well.
Our breath is a constant resource that we take with us everywhere we go. It costs us nothing to employ. We have the ability to use our breath to change our nervous systems response.
If you haven’t tried 4-7-8 breathing, I would highly recommend practicing it daily. Many years ago, I was in a car accident and having panic symptoms every time I sat in the car. I thought I was not going to be able to work – but as a therapist, I knew not to listen to fears voice telling me to run. Instead, I participated in biofeedback therapy. Hooked up to a computer I learned to master my breath to take control and shut down the panic before it took over me.
The 4-7-8 breathing technique does quick work of smoothing out the stress response and bringing your pulse and heartrate back into homeostasis.
Make time to express your feelings creatively – whatever that means to you.
If you love to dance, DANCE!
If you love to write, WRITE!
If you love to draw, DRAW!
If you love to sing, SING!
Make time for as much physical activity as you can tolerate. Physical exercise is an enormous stress reliever! Seriously. Working out is an excellent way to purge stress hormones that have built up in the body.
Let yourself CRY. Crying releases feel good neurotransmitters that allow us to feel sense of relief after. If you feel like you need a good cry, but it just isn’t coming consider watching a sappy movie or listening to a piece of music that will elicit a tearful response. If you are like me – you have a few go-to films and albums in your collection just for this purpose.
Get extra sleep if you need. This is exhausting.
Again, be kind and gentle with yourself. There is no right or wrong way to be feeling right now. Honor what is coming up for you and take care of it.
If you or someone you love is in need of extra support during this time, please do reach out for help. We are here, as are so many amazing therapists in our community.
Please call our office number (239) 297-7099 or if you have any questions regarding our services you can also email us at reina@floridaarttherapyservices.com.
thank you *so* much for these words. I can relate, it’s something similar to survivor’s guilt.
it has also been difficult for me personally because I haven’t had any support from friends or family.
and it’s been awkward to talk about it because it seems like, unless you were affected directly, people are somewhat unconcerned by how you feel.
your advice and positivity are so helpful.
again, I really appreciate this post!
thank you !
You are very welcome! I am glad it was helpful to you.