Self-Love: Caring for Your Future Self Now
By Reina Lombardi
Taking care of yourself today is one of the best gifts you can give to your future self!
Self-love isn’t just about feeling good in the moment—it’s about making choices that improve your mental and physical health for the long term.
People struggle with self-love for a variety of reasons. Some feel they are too busy and overwhelmed, while others may believe they don’t deserve it. However, science shows that when we care for ourselves, both our minds and bodies thrive.
For those seeking support, working with a therapist trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help you release beliefs holding you back from prioritizing yourself. Our practice offers telehealth options anywhere in Florida and in-person counseling at our Fort Myers office.
Why Don’t We Care for Our Future Selves?
Sometimes, it can be hard to think about our future selves.
This happens because our brains are wired to focus on immediate needs and rewards rather than long-term benefits. Psychologists call this “temporal discounting,” which means we value something less when it’s far away in the future.
For example, skipping a workout today feels easier than thinking about how it might affect your health years from now. But when we practice self-love and focus on what’s good for us over time, we build a better future for ourselves. Therapy can help identify the barriers that keep us stuck and provide tools to overcome them.
The Science of Self-Love
Self-love has both psychological and physiological benefits. Psychologically, self-love can improve mood, reduce anxiety, and increase resilience. Studies show that people who practice self-compassion have less negative self-talk and are better able to handle stress. For example, EMDR therapy has been shown to help people heal from past trauma, leading to greater self-acceptance and emotional balance.
On the physical side, self-love can lower cortisol, the stress hormone, and improve heart health. Research from the field of psychophysiology shows that positive emotions, like self-love, create harmony in the heart’s rhythms. This boosts your immune system and helps your body stay strong over time. By making self-care practices a priority, you’re doing more than just treating yourself—you’re investing in your overall well-being.
Self-Care Practices That Build Self-Love
Maintaining self-care routines is one of the best ways to grow self-love. Here are a few tips to get started:
- Practice mindfulness: Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breath or noticing the present moment. Mindfulness helps calm the mind and reduces stress.
- Set boundaries: Learn to say “no” to things that drain your energy. This protects your time and mental health. This is tough for many people because we are conditioned at an early age not to say “no” to authority figures. Saying no to things that are not aligned with your goals, drain your energy, or increase distress in your life is a valuable act of self-love.
- Move your body: Exercise not only strengthens your body but also releases endorphins, which improve your mood. Exercise which includes a combination of strength training (weights), mobility training (yoga), and cardio (walking/running) are strong predictors of health and independence in later adulthood.
- Get support: Talking to a counselor or therapist can help you learn to love yourself and establish routines, boundaries, and beliefs that reinforce self-love. If you need support and are in Florida, contact us for a telehealth or in-person counseling appointment in our Fort Myers office to begin your journey. We would love to support you in your journey toward self-love, self-compassion and self-empowerment
Self-love and self-care are not selfish! By taking care of yourself now, you’re building a happier, healthier future. Therapy, like EMDR, can guide you toward healing and self-compassion. Start today—your future self will thank you.