Did you know that March is Self-Injury Awareness Month? Did you know an estimated 15% of teenagers will engage in some form of self-injurious behavior? Some people do this a few times and stop, while for others it becomes a maladaptive coping skill. This blog offers a short guide for parents who discover their child is hurting themselves in some way.
Discovering that your child is engaging in self-injurious behaviors can be a distressing and overwhelming experience for any parent. Whether it’s overt such as cutting, burning, or hitting themselves, or covert such as punishing themselves from engaging in once joyful activities or restrictive eating it’s crucial to approach the situation with compassion, understanding, and proactive support. Here’s a comprehensive guide on what to do if you learn your child is engaging in self-injurious behaviors.
- Stay Calm, Don’t Judge & Seek Understanding: Upon learning about your child’s self-injurious behaviors, it’s natural to feel shocked, upset, confused, and even guilty. However, it’s essential to remain as calm and non-judgmental as possible. Remember that self-harm is often a coping mechanism rather than a sign of defiance. Approach your child with empathy and a willingness to understand their emotions and experiences. Judging statements create feelings of shame for the person being judged. Research suggests that shame keeps people stuck and causes them to shut down. This is counterproductive to helping them move forward in healthy adaptive ways.
- Open Communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental space for your child to express themselves openly. Encourage them to talk about their feelings, triggers, and reasons behind their self-harm. Listen attentively without interrupting or dismissing their emotions. Validate their feelings and reassure them that you’re there to support them unconditionally.
- Educate Yourself: Take the time to educate yourself about self-injurious behaviors, including the potential causes, underlying mental health conditions, and effective coping strategies. Consult reputable sources such as mental health professionals, books, or online resources to gain a deeper understanding of the issue.
- Seek Professional Help: Consider consulting a mental health professional, such as a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist, who specializes in working with children and adolescents. They can conduct a comprehensive assessment to identify any underlying mental health issues, provide appropriate treatment, and teach coping skills to manage emotions in healthier ways.
- Develop Coping Strategies: Work together with your child and mental health professionals to develop personalized coping strategies and techniques to replace self-injurious behaviors. This may include relaxation exercises, mindfulness practices, journaling, or engaging in creative outlets such as art therapy.
- Create a Supportive Environment: Foster a supportive and nurturing environment at home where your child feels safe expressing their emotions and seeking help when needed. Encourage positive coping mechanisms, self-care practices, and healthy outlets for stress relief.
- Set Boundaries: While it’s crucial to be understanding and supportive, it’s also essential to set clear boundaries regarding self-harm. Establish rules and consequences that discourage self-injurious behaviors while offering alternative solutions and support.
- Monitor and Supervise: Keep a close eye on your child’s behavior and monitor any signs or triggers that may lead to self-harm. Supervise them when necessary, especially during high-risk situations or periods of heightened emotional distress.
- Involve the School: If your child’s self-injurious behaviors are impacting their academic performance or social interactions, consider involving the school guidance counselor or social worker. Collaborate with school staff to create a supportive plan that addresses your child’s needs and promotes their well-being.
- Practice Self-Care: Remember to prioritize your own well-being as a parent. Dealing with a child’s self-injurious behaviors can be emotionally draining, so make sure to seek support from friends, family members, or support groups. Practice self-care activities that help you recharge and stay resilient throughout the process.
Discovering that your child is engaging in self-injurious behaviors can be a challenging and distressing experience. However, by approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and proactive support, you can help your child navigate their emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Remember that seeking professional help and creating a supportive environment are essential steps in promoting your child’s mental and emotional well-being. With patience, compassion, and perseverance, you can support your child on their journey toward healing and recovery.
If you or your child needs the support of a mental health professional, we are here to help. Call 239-297-7099 to book an intake appointment with one of our therapists.